Shout - but you see it still won't do With my colours on I can be just as bad as you Have I had a glass too much ? Did I give a smile too few ? Did our friends all catch the needle match - did we want them to ? -- Jethro Tull, "Flying Colours"
The number one thing that gets me to fight is when someone predicts my behavior or decisions based on their prejudices about other opinions or behavior I have. "Well, you don't like Linux, so clearly you won't like source control." Me: "Huh?" Usually, sigh, followed by a lunge for the jugular. I'm not so sure *why* that burns me up, but boy does it.
Funny that it's always been the insecure alpha males that go for the ad hominem. Secure alphas (male and female) know that they just have to point me in the right direction. By all evidence I am threat on toast to the insecure ones.
That's *so* depressing. Perhaps I should be reading this book.
On the other hand, what *has* helped in a room full of shouting matches (inevitable when programmers are designing stuff) has been to say, "What problem are we trying to solve? Okay, who is going to use this thing we build? Do we know what they want and need? Okay, how much time do we have? Let's discard the options we can't do in the time available." Focusing on the problem itself, rather than the opinions, belief, or religion of the participants in the discussion, can cool people off. Though, heh, I never seem to be able to ask those questions if someone's got their finger on MY button.
Re: Picking Fights
With my colours on I can be just as bad as you
Have I had a glass too much ? Did I give a smile too few ?
Did our friends all catch the needle match - did we want them to ?
-- Jethro Tull, "Flying Colours"
The number one thing that gets me to fight is when someone predicts my behavior or decisions based on their prejudices about other opinions or behavior I have. "Well, you don't like Linux, so clearly you won't like source control." Me: "Huh?" Usually, sigh, followed by a lunge for the jugular. I'm not so sure *why* that burns me up, but boy does it.
Funny that it's always been the insecure alpha males that go for the ad hominem. Secure alphas (male and female) know that they just have to point me in the right direction. By all evidence I am threat on toast to the insecure ones.
That's *so* depressing. Perhaps I should be reading this book.
On the other hand, what *has* helped in a room full of shouting matches (inevitable when programmers are designing stuff) has been to say, "What problem are we trying to solve? Okay, who is going to use this thing we build? Do we know what they want and need? Okay, how much time do we have? Let's discard the options we can't do in the time available." Focusing on the problem itself, rather than the opinions, belief, or religion of the participants in the discussion, can cool people off. Though, heh, I never seem to be able to ask those questions if someone's got their finger on MY button.