Doctor's

[liralen]

I had a doctor's appointment this morning for my allergy and asthma, and I thought I was over my cold, but the breathing tests were really, really depressing. I'm back down to just 66% of my lung capacity even after a nebulizer with long and short-term drugs. With the asthma I've been having lately, and the cold, maybe that's the cause, and the doc took a look at me and said, "There's still an active infection going on back here, how about we give you an antibiotic?"

So I now have that, AND another asthma/lung capacity drug, and I'm oddly depressed.

I mean... I should be happy that we're addressing it, and that when I got back in two weeks, I'll probably be better off, but part of me was feeling all right, you know? And to have it brought to light that I'm really, really NOT all right just... bleh.

I should just write it off as more experience or something.



<rant>
And, yeah, in case anyone wanted to know. When I read a fic that has Ukitake whining, "Why me?" in it, I want to hit something. Really, really hard. Just so you know, because it is the stupidest question in the world, and solves nothing if he gets an answer, and only serves to take energy away from what can be done. I'm okay if he's angry or depressed at a setback or just tired, but that particular phrase really sets me off. He's a fighter, damnit, not a whiner. Thank you.
</rant>

ytd wordcount: 53,992

Comments

[momijizukamori]

Mm, or that. I was just...incredibly reminded of myself as a teenager, heh. (which was in part the untreated depression, and part a teenage tendancy to think of everything wrong as the end of the world).

And okay, that's seriously shitty :( Multicellularity: not always working in our favor.

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Aww... sorry about the untreated depression! That really sucks...

But, yes, you make an excellent point with that tendency! I appreciate the reminder. *thoughtfuls* And, you're entirely right.

Eh. It's... it *is* manageable, and most of the time it doesn't bother me in the least. On the most part I do what I really want to do, and just make sure I get enough exercise (even when I don't want to). I just know that, yeah, that's my likely fail-first point. *laughs* I love how you put it, yes... multicellularity does not always work in our favor... *laughs*

*hugs* Thanks. It's good for me to talk this through, too.

[momijizukamori]

It did, although in retrospect I'm mostly just sad over the number of friendships that got destroyed because depression and social anxiety are a really bad combo for relationships. But now I know my neurochemistry is just really messed up, and I have drugs for it, and it's generally a lot easier to be rational about it, even when I'm feeling lousy. Being able to say 'Okay, I'm really upset because of X thing, and while it's bad, at least some of it is just in my head and it's not actually the end of the world' is remarkably liberating. Still haven't figured out the 'I want to sleep fourteen hours a night every night' thing, but...working on that one :P

Good you can deal with it, then :) And hey, if talking about it helps, go for it!

It's really true, and a point one of my cell bio friends who is very fond of single-celled organisms points out - the more parts there are in the system, the easier it is for something to go wrong. Like human spines - the configuration we have worked fine when we were monkeys using all four limbs equally, but switch to bipedalism, and there's a lot of stresses on it that, that it has problems handling. But unfortunately we can't go back and re-evolve something that works better.

(is my biology major showing through yet XD?)