Re: But I've pretty much put myself in the middle of that quagmireBut I've pretty much put myself in the middle of that quagmire
I like the notion of methods of maximizing depression, but it's important to keep in mind that the messed up thinking patterns and behaviors of depression are hand-in-hand with the symptoms.
I had a tilted pelvis, that, after 7 years of work, has finally unlocked, and I now only have a few muscles left to strengthen and stretch. I'm *appalled* by how my body would twist my leg through three dimensions to use the wrong muscles to do things. If I had been abusing my own muscles that way, I'd think I was a damn fool. And I wasn't, see... I'm not sure how this happened, but something went wrong, and then, my body fell into a pattern of doing things differently, that caused other things to be different, etc., in a cascade.
Depression is much the same way. Your perceptions get munged; you start responding naturally to those altered perceptions, which tends to dig in deeply, just like whatever the heck happened to my hip. And it's something you can change, if you become aware of it, but it's extremely hard to do that from the inside, because, again: depression mungs your *perceptions* - your sense of how you are, the world is, and your place in it.
That you have a responsibility to fix it is a good thought - in the end, no one else can fix it for you. It's like a long hike in a blizzard - someone can give you guidance, assistance, maybe some food or a hot drink, but if there's no vehicle or shelter, you can walk, or you can freeze, and those are the choices.
Please don't blame yourself for suddenly realizing you're walking in a blizzard, is what I'm saying. i
(I think you have an IT background, but not everyone in IT knows the acronyn MUNG which is recursive, meaning "Mung Until No Good". I think it works well for things like depression and its effects)
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Date: 2018-01-24 05:14 am (UTC)I like the notion of methods of maximizing depression, but it's important to keep in mind that the messed up thinking patterns and behaviors of depression are hand-in-hand with the symptoms.
I had a tilted pelvis, that, after 7 years of work, has finally unlocked, and I now only have a few muscles left to strengthen and stretch. I'm *appalled* by how my body would twist my leg through three dimensions to use the wrong muscles to do things. If I had been abusing my own muscles that way, I'd think I was a damn fool. And I wasn't, see... I'm not sure how this happened, but something went wrong, and then, my body fell into a pattern of doing things differently, that caused other things to be different, etc., in a cascade.
Depression is much the same way. Your perceptions get munged; you start responding naturally to those altered perceptions, which tends to dig in deeply, just like whatever the heck happened to my hip. And it's something you can change, if you become aware of it, but it's extremely hard to do that from the inside, because, again: depression mungs your *perceptions* - your sense of how you are, the world is, and your place in it.
That you have a responsibility to fix it is a good thought - in the end, no one else can fix it for you. It's like a long hike in a blizzard - someone can give you guidance, assistance, maybe some food or a hot drink, but if there's no vehicle or shelter, you can walk, or you can freeze, and those are the choices.
Please don't blame yourself for suddenly realizing you're walking in a blizzard, is what I'm saying. i
(I think you have an IT background, but not everyone in IT knows the acronyn MUNG which is recursive, meaning "Mung Until No Good". I think it works well for things like depression and its effects)