Things to Remember

On NPR there was a blurb about a robber who couldn't spell and he'd left a note at a crime scene signed (and transcribed from what was said on the radio) "Your friendy rooftop boogler."

John and I laughed ourselves sick, and then Jet started chanting, from the back of the van, "Say boogler! Say boogler! Say boogler!"

Now, when John and I want to get the other to giggle, we now say, "Say boogler!"

It works, every time.

---

Jet told John about a kid at school. Jet didn't know the kid, but the kid said, "Hey, Jet!" to Jet. So Jet was saying, "And I didn't knowed him at all, but he knowed me."

John, trying to teach Jet the vagueries of English said, "Sorry, Jet, the word 'know' is weird, it's not 'knowed' it's 'knew'."

Jet, impatient with Dad said, "Uh uh! It wasn't new, I NEVER knowed that kid."

John, faced with having to do a weird explanatory dance between 'no'/'know' 'new'/'knew' and the vagueries of English tense took the wise route and said, "Oh. Okay, Jet."

Smart man.

---

I'm in denial, really. Just cruising along on the waves of work that are sloshing over me, and the tiny bits of real life right next to me, rather than dealing with the mortality of those I'd known. I'll likely make an effort to make myself take the time and effort to have small ceremony, burn spirit money for those passed on to acknowledge what's happened, and think about them.

My body knows, though. I had the roughest massage session I've had in a very long time last night. So we scheduled an extra one for next week, so I'll have three weeks in a row of actually concentrating on some really bad spots. I'm lucky to have a great massage therapist who also isn't overbooked. I've also worn my light pressure/warmth gloves for typing today. I hope it helps.

Got an award today, plaque and stocks gifted for something that I'm actually not sure I did. It's odd to have that acknowledged when the other stuff that I DO do isn't acknowledged as concretely.

Things to Remember

On NPR there was a blurb about a robber who couldn't spell and he'd left a note at a crime scene signed (and transcribed from what was said on the radio) "Your friendy rooftop boogler."

John and I laughed ourselves sick, and then Jet started chanting, from the back of the van, "Say boogler! Say boogler! Say boogler!"

Now, when John and I want to get the other to giggle, we now say, "Say boogler!"

It works, every time.

---

Jet told John about a kid at school. Jet didn't know the kid, but the kid said, "Hey, Jet!" to Jet. So Jet was saying, "And I didn't knowed him at all, but he knowed me."

John, trying to teach Jet the vagueries of English said, "Sorry, Jet, the word 'know' is weird, it's not 'knowed' it's 'knew'."

Jet, impatient with Dad said, "Uh uh! It wasn't new, I NEVER knowed that kid."

John, faced with having to do a weird explanatory dance between 'no'/'know' 'new'/'knew' and the vagueries of English tense took the wise route and said, "Oh. Okay, Jet."

Smart man.

---

I'm in denial, really. Just cruising along on the waves of work that are sloshing over me, and the tiny bits of real life right next to me, rather than dealing with the mortality of those I'd known. I'll likely make an effort to make myself take the time and effort to have small ceremony, burn spirit money for those passed on to acknowledge what's happened, and think about them.

My body knows, though. I had the roughest massage session I've had in a very long time last night. So we scheduled an extra one for next week, so I'll have three weeks in a row of actually concentrating on some really bad spots. I'm lucky to have a great massage therapist who also isn't overbooked. I've also worn my light pressure/warmth gloves for typing today. I hope it helps.

Got an award today, plaque and stocks gifted for something that I'm actually not sure I did. It's odd to have that acknowledged when the other stuff that I DO do isn't acknowledged as concretely.

Baaaaa...

( It's actually pretty amusing if you know Heinlein. )

Baaaaa...

( It's actually pretty amusing if you know Heinlein. )

(no subject)

Worked late tonight, when I was thinking, with all the big stuff that happened early in the week, that it would only be small stuff. But... you guessed it... I was wrong. :-) The big thing on Monday was not too hard; but there were other things that grabbed me and I dealt.

There was one guy in one of the group presentations I made who had his head in his hands over something that was pretty hard to deal with; and he said something that made me think. He said that it seems that the amount of stress one dealt with was directly proportional to the amount of money one got paid. And I think that that is correct in this company and, maybe, in most good companies. That they reward those that do take on more than they're comfortable with. Thing is that I'd never really associated a link between risk-taking and ulcer-making if you get my drift.

So all these other folks that are playing at this higher level are just as stressed and as uncomfortable and as capable of worry as I am, in some ways. Sure, there's some people that appear to just take it all in stride, but now I've worked with some of those folks, heck, I've appeared to BE one of those folks. And I know now that at least some of them actually feel something like I do. And, yes, there are some that just don't worry, like John. But there are enough like me for me to understand that I may be doing it the way others do. That seems right in a root kind of way.

Now what I have to do is just figure out what my balance of this hard stuff is that will pay me what I want to be paid, give me as much real growth as I really want, and still not damage/really hurt me. At least I know some more about the axis I'm playing against, now.

(no subject)

Worked late tonight, when I was thinking, with all the big stuff that happened early in the week, that it would only be small stuff. But... you guessed it... I was wrong. :-) The big thing on Monday was not too hard; but there were other things that grabbed me and I dealt.

There was one guy in one of the group presentations I made who had his head in his hands over something that was pretty hard to deal with; and he said something that made me think. He said that it seems that the amount of stress one dealt with was directly proportional to the amount of money one got paid. And I think that that is correct in this company and, maybe, in most good companies. That they reward those that do take on more than they're comfortable with. Thing is that I'd never really associated a link between risk-taking and ulcer-making if you get my drift.

So all these other folks that are playing at this higher level are just as stressed and as uncomfortable and as capable of worry as I am, in some ways. Sure, there's some people that appear to just take it all in stride, but now I've worked with some of those folks, heck, I've appeared to BE one of those folks. And I know now that at least some of them actually feel something like I do. And, yes, there are some that just don't worry, like John. But there are enough like me for me to understand that I may be doing it the way others do. That seems right in a root kind of way.

Now what I have to do is just figure out what my balance of this hard stuff is that will pay me what I want to be paid, give me as much real growth as I really want, and still not damage/really hurt me. At least I know some more about the axis I'm playing against, now.

An Olympic Effort

kathrynt wrote: "I love watching people push themselves literally to the edge of human capacity, whether they succeed or fail. Sometimes most of all when they KNOW they're going to fail but they get out there and push themselves to the limit anyway, because that's the distilled essence of the liquor of Awesome on which the Olympics is drunk."

Tonight, I saw Sasha Cohen do that in the free skate of women's figure skating.  Yeah, I know, I know, there are many who don't think figure skating is a 'real sport' and there are others who are put off by the completely obnoxious and incomprehensible commentators (I can't believe the number of times I heard them GASP and then NOT SAY WHY); but when there are some competitors in the 4 minute free that end up unable to do things, obviously because they've used everything their legs could give them and they put themselves, on blades, on ice, in positions I'll never reach even on plain ground, I'll give 'em the benefit of that doubt, at least.  A man can run a mile in under four minutes, to go full bore for that whole time has got to be hard.

Thing is that I'd just watched three or four women before and after Sasha just be technically crisp and clear in function, but not *beautiful* in form.  When Sasha started, she had a really bad warmup from the comments Scott made.  She had a leg bandaged from an earlier injury and she seemed to be favoring it somehow.  Then, nearly as soon as she started her program, she fell on both of her first two Big Jumps, the ones that were supposed to set up the basis of all her scoring for the rest of the program.  As far as the commentators were concerned and as far as anyone could see, she was pretty much completely out of the medals race.  Period.  No way to get gold, and unlikely to even mount the podium.

The fascinating and marvelous thing was to see her, after those two falls, visibly just shrug.  To know that she was going to 'fail' so far as medals, but she was going to give it her all anyway.  To skate as perfectly, expressively, and purposefully as possible, just to do it right.  And she did.  Beautifully.  Gorgeous, each extension to the full, each sway and timed motion exact, each position held solid and complete, and each of the following jumps not only executed, but finished with grace and a smile.  I cried at that brave display.  Of going and still doing the best she could possibly do when there seemed no chance of success.

That I'll remember for a very long time.

Yeah, yeah.  Tomorrow's paper will have the fact that she won silver with her brave display.  There were other 'clean' performances, one technically perfect.  There was one other who had a fall, and even I could see that she skated more sloppily and with less care after her 'failure'.  So Sasha's courage was rewarded, but even if it had not, I would have remembered being able to witness her efforts.

An Olympic Effort

kathrynt wrote: "I love watching people push themselves literally to the edge of human capacity, whether they succeed or fail. Sometimes most of all when they KNOW they're going to fail but they get out there and push themselves to the limit anyway, because that's the distilled essence of the liquor of Awesome on which the Olympics is drunk."

Tonight, I saw Sasha Cohen do that in the free skate of women's figure skating.  Yeah, I know, I know, there are many who don't think figure skating is a 'real sport' and there are others who are put off by the completely obnoxious and incomprehensible commentators (I can't believe the number of times I heard them GASP and then NOT SAY WHY); but when there are some competitors in the 4 minute free that end up unable to do things, obviously because they've used everything their legs could give them and they put themselves, on blades, on ice, in positions I'll never reach even on plain ground, I'll give 'em the benefit of that doubt, at least.  A man can run a mile in under four minutes, to go full bore for that whole time has got to be hard.

Thing is that I'd just watched three or four women before and after Sasha just be technically crisp and clear in function, but not *beautiful* in form.  When Sasha started, she had a really bad warmup from the comments Scott made.  She had a leg bandaged from an earlier injury and she seemed to be favoring it somehow.  Then, nearly as soon as she started her program, she fell on both of her first two Big Jumps, the ones that were supposed to set up the basis of all her scoring for the rest of the program.  As far as the commentators were concerned and as far as anyone could see, she was pretty much completely out of the medals race.  Period.  No way to get gold, and unlikely to even mount the podium.

The fascinating and marvelous thing was to see her, after those two falls, visibly just shrug.  To know that she was going to 'fail' so far as medals, but she was going to give it her all anyway.  To skate as perfectly, expressively, and purposefully as possible, just to do it right.  And she did.  Beautifully.  Gorgeous, each extension to the full, each sway and timed motion exact, each position held solid and complete, and each of the following jumps not only executed, but finished with grace and a smile.  I cried at that brave display.  Of going and still doing the best she could possibly do when there seemed no chance of success.

That I'll remember for a very long time.

Yeah, yeah.  Tomorrow's paper will have the fact that she won silver with her brave display.  There were other 'clean' performances, one technically perfect.  There was one other who had a fall, and even I could see that she skated more sloppily and with less care after her 'failure'.  So Sasha's courage was rewarded, but even if it had not, I would have remembered being able to witness her efforts.