Why?

[liralen]

This morning, Jet was playing in the livingroom, by himself, and John overheard him doing the following conversation between two toys:

"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Why?"
"Because."
etc.

The funny thing is that Jet's stopped asking us why so often, as I took arcangelbeth's advise and we started doing full explainations with questions to see if he understands. So I'm now wondering who he's getting that kind of conversation from...

Comments

[marith.livejournal.com]

Huh. He actually asks why less often now that he gets a more comprehensive response? I would have thought that would encourage more whys. :) Or do you mean he doesn't need so many followup whys because you explain more the first time?

Jet is so cool.

[archangelbeth]

Hee hee hee. I'm glad it was useful! (TV? Other kids? Prior incidents which strike him as amusing?)

[liralen.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Given that Jet was giggling as he was doing that, I think it might be the last of your list. Maybe. Inscrutible are the ways of the toddler.

But, yes, it helped a lot, and has been very useful.

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Actually... I think that part of the reason Jet uses "Why?" on adults (and, maybe, all toddlers go through the phase for the same reason?) when they try to lay down a law is that he gets a reaction out of them. It instantly turns me from trying to be 'in control' into being flustered, impatient, or suddenly realizing that I'm being a dictator without a good reason and not really liking it.

But when I *intend* to answer every why fully, patiently, and completely, I know that I just settle into patient mode, and keep up the interaction with Jet until he understand why the rule is in place, what kind of safety issue is involved, and why it scares me when he runs out into the road, doesn't stay close to me, starts knocking things down in the grocery store... etc.

It might be a combination of a) he understands more of the reason behind the request/rule and b) he knows he can't get a rise out of me just with a single word AND c) I don't 'lay down the law' unless there is a reason involved. So now he mostly limits his "Why?"s to when he really wants to know what's behind something I say, rather than using it every time I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do.