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liralenAfter a pretty painful night. Jet was up with gas until nearly 2 am and he's pretty tired now. So he's sleeping and I probably should be napping with him, but I have too much work to do, at the moment, so I'm working in complete peace and quiet, which is good in and of itself.
Jet's actually starting to nap regularly, something like two hours a day, though I'll admit that I would rather he slept well at night, there is something to be said for getting stuff done during the day. I finally wrapped John's present, and I'm now done with my Christmas shopping. It was pretty weird getting gifts for my parents and sister, as I've been out of touch long enough that it's just hard. Plus it didn't help knowing that Kathy really does measure how much we spend on her as a way of telling how much we like her and that she's willing to save up resentment from a badly bought present for years to throw it in my face later as proof that I don't like her. That just kind of sucks.
Self-esteem is such a concept. I mean, I was ecstatic over the $7 gift of a hair cut from my hair cut lady as I know how little she can afford to give, and it really was a gift she loved giving. I really enjoyed that and felt very valued. It's funny how little I enjoy the half of a video camera that Mom and Dad gave John and I when I, originally, had absolutely no desire for a video camera. John was the one that wanted one, but they decided to lump me in with him, like they lumped both John and I in with Kathy when they 'gave us the humidifier' that was actually for Kathy while she visited. I would have been happy if they'd send me a packet of caramel corn or even a one pound package of almond toffee, at least it would be something I wanted.
So I contribute to the commercialism of Christmas, by buying things that I think they'll really like. Of course, I'll be as wrong as they were, and it'll all be a self-perpetuating cycle of mis-given gifts. Maybe next year I should be explicit and just ask them to give something to the Heifer Project or to micro-banking or something, and just fuck the presents and have something that actually makes a difference. Bees. I like bees.
Of course that sidesteps all the cool friends that have given me very meaningful and fun and cool gifts as well. Genevieve sent me some very interesting books. I have other gifts that were wrapped and are now under the tree. I had fun shopping for friends, it was just kind of cool to do something they might like, and would appreciate getting even if they didn't like it as much as I thought they might.
Jet's actually starting to nap regularly, something like two hours a day, though I'll admit that I would rather he slept well at night, there is something to be said for getting stuff done during the day. I finally wrapped John's present, and I'm now done with my Christmas shopping. It was pretty weird getting gifts for my parents and sister, as I've been out of touch long enough that it's just hard. Plus it didn't help knowing that Kathy really does measure how much we spend on her as a way of telling how much we like her and that she's willing to save up resentment from a badly bought present for years to throw it in my face later as proof that I don't like her. That just kind of sucks.
Self-esteem is such a concept. I mean, I was ecstatic over the $7 gift of a hair cut from my hair cut lady as I know how little she can afford to give, and it really was a gift she loved giving. I really enjoyed that and felt very valued. It's funny how little I enjoy the half of a video camera that Mom and Dad gave John and I when I, originally, had absolutely no desire for a video camera. John was the one that wanted one, but they decided to lump me in with him, like they lumped both John and I in with Kathy when they 'gave us the humidifier' that was actually for Kathy while she visited. I would have been happy if they'd send me a packet of caramel corn or even a one pound package of almond toffee, at least it would be something I wanted.
So I contribute to the commercialism of Christmas, by buying things that I think they'll really like. Of course, I'll be as wrong as they were, and it'll all be a self-perpetuating cycle of mis-given gifts. Maybe next year I should be explicit and just ask them to give something to the Heifer Project or to micro-banking or something, and just fuck the presents and have something that actually makes a difference. Bees. I like bees.
Of course that sidesteps all the cool friends that have given me very meaningful and fun and cool gifts as well. Genevieve sent me some very interesting books. I have other gifts that were wrapped and are now under the tree. I had fun shopping for friends, it was just kind of cool to do something they might like, and would appreciate getting even if they didn't like it as much as I thought they might.
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I hope you don't mind this.
Date: 2001-12-18 12:40 pm (UTC)I gave my parents and future-mother-in-law shares of a sheep at the Heifer Project this year, and am glad that I can trust they will appreciate it. So I just wanted to say that I know what you mean.
(And I hope Jet starts sleeping through the night for you. :)
no subject
Date: 2001-12-18 02:03 pm (UTC)I'm sorry they still don't see you. They're missing out on so much!
Re: I hope you don't mind this.
Date: 2001-12-18 04:16 pm (UTC)Keen about the sheep!! And, yes, that trust really is important. I'm glad you have it.
As for Jet sleeping through the night... thank you for the good wishes!! I don't mind getting up once or even twice to feed him when he's thirsty in this arid area. It's when he's up for a few hours that it does get kind of old. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when the whole world seems still, it's really nice to just have some time with him when I have nothing else that's pressing on me. It's kind of cool.
no subject
Date: 2001-12-18 04:17 pm (UTC)I like to think so. *grin*. Thank you, that helped me put it into perspective.