(no subject)
Aug. 12th, 2002 10:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
liralenAn interesting weekend.
John showed up on Saturday, after going out to do a bunch of errands on his own, with a new microwave oven. It was just sixty bucks, had all the features of our 18-year-old clunker, was half the size, and had about two-thirds the interior room. It's just as powerful and I don't have to worry what waves might be leaking from the old housing. Kinda neat.
The dust is bad from the dug-up yard. Today they're actually planting some things, not just digging old stuff up and cleaning out the weeds. I'm hoping the dust will get better.
Sunday, Pastor Michael talked about how relatively easy it was being one of two pastors that championed gay rights. Going up again against the politics and theology of his peers was easy compared to how difficult it had been to go through the whole Open and Affirming process with his own congregation. How much harder the personal conflict and the hurt feelings of people he had gotten to really know personally had been. But that both had been worth the effort.
He had first been taught about the problem when, in his own family, a member had come out of the closet and two weeks later had killed himself. He'd gone to the guy's mom and said, "While I don't understand why anyone would be gay, I know that no one should die of it. I'll do what I can, as a pastor, to do what's right." So it had gone on with the Christian duty to address injustice and to do what's right. That while one may want to hide from the inequities of the world, one has to come out and do what's right.
There was a trans-gendered lady who was at the church for the first time, yesterday, and she was crying through much of the sermon. She'd gotten enough courage up to wear a satin skirt and shoes to the service. She's a care-giver at some of the hospices in the area, and it was fun to talk to her and welcome her. Jet gave her a steady look, studied her, and then smiled at her. She was delighted.
It's odd for me, in some ways. I really dislike being female. I hate the slenderness, weakness, and fat shaping bits of my body. I hate the hormones, and the attitudes I've faced through much of my life. I despise most 'pretty' things, other than for some elegant aspect of their design. I like being tall, strong, and smart, which doesn't preclude being female, but it sure gets weird looks sometimes. I don't, however, feel that I'm intrinsically male enough to go the rough path of changing what I was born with, and I've been lucky enough that society, now, will live with me dressing the way I do and acting the way I do and doing the job that I do. Plus, yes, I acknowledge the gift that got me my Jet. I still don't get why anyone would *want* to be female, but then, I guess, with some trans-gendered folks, it's not a case of 'want' so much as 'this is what is and I'm trying to make myself right'.
Watching this lady, though, I did get the sense that she probably disliked her musculature and solidity as much as I disliked my physical properties. It amazes me, sometimes, that they'd have the courage to try that and would want to go into the teeth of what I hate about being female. It is, however, an odd feeling to dislike, so intensely, what others want so much. They're both valid feelings, but so it is, I guess, with feelings.
John showed up on Saturday, after going out to do a bunch of errands on his own, with a new microwave oven. It was just sixty bucks, had all the features of our 18-year-old clunker, was half the size, and had about two-thirds the interior room. It's just as powerful and I don't have to worry what waves might be leaking from the old housing. Kinda neat.
The dust is bad from the dug-up yard. Today they're actually planting some things, not just digging old stuff up and cleaning out the weeds. I'm hoping the dust will get better.
Sunday, Pastor Michael talked about how relatively easy it was being one of two pastors that championed gay rights. Going up again against the politics and theology of his peers was easy compared to how difficult it had been to go through the whole Open and Affirming process with his own congregation. How much harder the personal conflict and the hurt feelings of people he had gotten to really know personally had been. But that both had been worth the effort.
He had first been taught about the problem when, in his own family, a member had come out of the closet and two weeks later had killed himself. He'd gone to the guy's mom and said, "While I don't understand why anyone would be gay, I know that no one should die of it. I'll do what I can, as a pastor, to do what's right." So it had gone on with the Christian duty to address injustice and to do what's right. That while one may want to hide from the inequities of the world, one has to come out and do what's right.
There was a trans-gendered lady who was at the church for the first time, yesterday, and she was crying through much of the sermon. She'd gotten enough courage up to wear a satin skirt and shoes to the service. She's a care-giver at some of the hospices in the area, and it was fun to talk to her and welcome her. Jet gave her a steady look, studied her, and then smiled at her. She was delighted.
It's odd for me, in some ways. I really dislike being female. I hate the slenderness, weakness, and fat shaping bits of my body. I hate the hormones, and the attitudes I've faced through much of my life. I despise most 'pretty' things, other than for some elegant aspect of their design. I like being tall, strong, and smart, which doesn't preclude being female, but it sure gets weird looks sometimes. I don't, however, feel that I'm intrinsically male enough to go the rough path of changing what I was born with, and I've been lucky enough that society, now, will live with me dressing the way I do and acting the way I do and doing the job that I do. Plus, yes, I acknowledge the gift that got me my Jet. I still don't get why anyone would *want* to be female, but then, I guess, with some trans-gendered folks, it's not a case of 'want' so much as 'this is what is and I'm trying to make myself right'.
Watching this lady, though, I did get the sense that she probably disliked her musculature and solidity as much as I disliked my physical properties. It amazes me, sometimes, that they'd have the courage to try that and would want to go into the teeth of what I hate about being female. It is, however, an odd feeling to dislike, so intensely, what others want so much. They're both valid feelings, but so it is, I guess, with feelings.
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no subject
Date: 2002-08-12 03:26 pm (UTC)a) boobies
b) 24/7 access to said boobies
c) free drinks
d) female orgasms (i.e. they look a lot more fun than the ones i have)
no subject
Date: 2002-08-12 05:07 pm (UTC)a) and b) I have no idea why anyone is attracted to gobs of fat... I like them for the utilitarian purpose of making milk, and I can see why Jet likes 'em for Yummy Food Source, but other than that... what's attractive about them? They're gobs of fat under gradually loosening, sagging skin that hurt said skin when one tries to run with them. They're painful, stupid things that have to get bound up in order to function on a normal basis. THAT I hate. Plus the whole mental thing about... man, if I lost those, I'd probably make my weight goal in an instant.
c) I don't drink.
d) The orgasm thing seems to be a quantity versus quality thing. I'd take either.
no subject
Date: 2002-08-12 05:45 pm (UTC)c) don't worry, i got that covered for you, jet, the husband, the sister, the family, and a few distant relatives. i'm a team player.
d) ah, truthfully, i don't really know anything about orgasms. i'm still striving for that one type i keep hearing about. i think they call it "frequent."
no subject
Date: 2002-08-13 10:25 am (UTC)I fault mine for making my life nasty, unhappy, and filled with people that didn't want *ME* so much as the stupid jiggly stuff.
But that's me. *grin*
I definitely shouldn't have implied that they're not fun or good for other folks. It's just my own emotion and my own hate. Kind of like how you hate how meat eating people smell.
Ooh, look! Breasts!
Date: 2002-08-13 09:00 am (UTC)It's the same reason foods high in energy (fat, sugar) taste good: an objective benefit eventually leads to a subjective appreciation for the benefit's markers.
(Yah, I know it wasn't a serious question.)
Re: Ooh, look! Breasts!
Date: 2002-08-13 10:20 am (UTC)I guess it just highlights the fact that my dislike is simply a personal dislike. An emotional reaction that is my own and no one else's. So it is. I dislike 'em. Other people like 'em, and guys don't have to live with the damned things. Lucky you. *grin*
Re: Ooh, look! Breasts!
Date: 2002-08-13 10:39 am (UTC)You mean you want something besides survival and reproduction? <blink> <blink>
>...guys don't have to live with the damned things.
Actually (as mentioned in other comments) guys spend quite a lot of time trying to get near them. They just don't carry them around. :)
Re: Ooh, look! Breasts!
Date: 2002-08-13 11:04 am (UTC)You are the best Trip. *grin*
Re: Ooh, look! Breasts!
Date: 2002-08-13 11:33 am (UTC)