(no subject)

[liralen]

There is nothing as heartfelt as the cry of a very tired four-year-old after his whacked his head for the FOURTH TIME in a row. My shoulder is soaked, poor guy.

I will admit though, that I'm very very tired of the phrase, "Thank you for telling me what you want. I appreciate that that is what you want, but I am NOT going to (put ice cream on your smoothie, pick up your spent tissue, pick you up AGAIN, let you blow more bubbles, let you play yet ANOTHER video game, play another cartoon for you, play more video games myself, tell you it's okay to have candy for dinner, etc. etc. etc.) do that/let you do that. Period."

Yes. Jet is testing boundaries.

Comments

ayup

[eyelessgame.livejournal.com]

Gosh, so's another little tyke. :) Sherilyn wants to know why Josh pitches so many fits and what to do about it... I'm pretty sure it's the same phase you're saying Jet's going through.

I have a high tolerance for, after giving the option of accepting the boundaries, permitting little ones to howl their fool heads off till they're tired of doing so. At noon today Josh heard Sherilyn and me discussing the possibility of going out for lunch. He decided he wanted to, and started whining/crying/screaming after we decided we'd eat leftovers instead. Like many times recently, I told him what I understood about his mood but that I wasn't changing my mind, and it didn't slow him down -- he wasn't inconsolable, because when I asked questions, he'd stop crying long enough to answer, then start right back up again, so it was clear he was just trying to manipulate.

So he got to go sit in his room for almost an hour and howl and sob. Finally got bored, trotted downstairs, announced he'd stopped crying, was praised for doing so, and asked for lunch, which I gave him.

Boundaries.

(Robert, on the other hand, tried to change his mind this morning about going berrypicking with his mom and siblings, and had to be essentially shoved out the door and manually buckled into the minivan... and then came home having immensely enjoyed the berrypicking. He doesn't so much test boundaries as he just doesn't want to engage with the world, even though he loves it once he does. This is more troublesome because it's a lot more long-term behavior.)

Re: ayup

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Exactly it. I spent most of this morning working out with Jet that, no, I wasn't going to turn on the TV unless he had some breakfast. He finally decided on whole wheat banana muffins with cream cheese, and he stopped crying after nearly an hour of it in order to help me mix up the muffins and bake them. He didn't eat until nearly 11, and much of the argument happened while the windows cleaners were in the house. Yeesh... an audience, but it did help that they just tiptoed about doing their thing.

But, yeah, he'd stop crying to argue with me, and then start up again... good to know that it's not really me. :-)

[writeanya.livejournal.com]

age 4! this is it in spades.

and with everything, it will change quickly as he races toward 5 -- a more grown-up boy. you are doing such a great job with respect/boundaries, it is truly amazing. i always appreciate these posts, even though i feel your pain at the same time. :D you are really, really graceful...

is he in a growth spurt, too? you know how it contributes to the fits, because of the physical pain and all...

and, you are SUCH a good mommy. once we have a critter i am going to reread your entire blog and remake notes to self on how you handle all the kidlet phases. if you don't mind!

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Hmph, graceful. I feel like a brick sometimes. :-)

He's not in a growth spurt, otherwise he'd eat a lot more than he is. On the trip he'd eat three or four times as much at a meal, and when he came back he nearly doens't fit in half of his clothes again.

I am afraid that it's actually pre-school and either his co-kids are easy to mow over with an emphatic disagreement or his teachers are and I know he's trying some new verbal argument technique on us that are patently young. "You're being mean!" is a favorite at the moment. He's definitely learning about what will and won't work, and that, with me, sometimes a single "No." doesn't actually MEAN no, which is a problem of mine anyway...

... so I get to work on my own issues with boundaries while doing this anyway.

[writeanya.livejournal.com]

ain't it always so? our own issues come to light through our relationships with our kids and partners.

highly likely he's picking up stuff for school, so typical. and, then he gets to put his own spin on it for home consumption! wheeeeeee! i guess you should just roll over, completely injured, and give in to that "you're mean" statement.

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ain't it always so? our own issues come to light through our relationships with our kids and partners.

highly likely he's picking up stuff for school, so typical. and, then he gets to put his own spin on it for home consumption! wheeeeeee! i guess you should just roll over, completely injured, and give in to that "you're mean" statement. <wounded!> *giggle*

i recently had a convo with a very wise woman who told me that the universe was working with me when it came to pass that i didn't have children in my 20s or early 30s. she said that i would have just been acting in the same way my parents did, or completely *reacting* to how they were, all unconsciously.

there is a beauty to being conscious in this parenting gig, for sure. i think having kids when you have some experience under your belt actually allows for this space, and lets you work on your own stuff too. also, you get to see lots and lots of not-so-good parenting along the way...heh!

eh, no mean no is the hardest one, isn't it? so many variations of what no is about.

you're no brick, truly. it's really wonderful to witness how you guys are with jet. remember that!