Trouble

[liralen]

Life's been odd lately.  Deaths, mourning, relationship problems among those around us, and the leaving of our interim pastor.  "Everything changes, nothing changes back." 

Public thanks to incandescens , stark_black , bellumina  and shadowgirl1605  for helping me out when I wasn't nearly at my best.  *laughter*  I've been moody, cranky, unable to sleep.  The medication side effects I've alleviated by taking it earlier in the evening.  I get the full 12 hours on either side, and I can always do it when Jet goes to sleep, so by the time I go to sleep I can now sleep.  So that's to the good, and I'm breathing and thankful for all the breaths I'm now aware of.  I'm picking up tai chi again just to enjoy the depth of breath, and it's helping me with the other things, again.  Probably a bit like yoga for others.

There's two quotes for this week.  "Disciples know themselves as distinctive, peculiar people bearing the inner mark of character and the outer mark of compassion." -- from my Disciples Biblical study workbook.  And "Compassion is the secret name of God." -- from The Saving Jesus workshop.

I'm starting to really get what it is that the Disciples Bible study class has given me.  Having the Biblical background in conjunction with the "Saving Jesus" class has been making my brain explode, and my heart expand.  "Saving Jesus" is about the fact that conservatives have, basically, stolen Jesus to stand for the Establishment, and it's time that radically liberal congregations started claiming him back.  Basically, Jesus was part of a poverty stricken, oppressed minority, and he was a dangerous radical in his time.  His whole message is about how to be an offensively and defensively non-violent radical that stood for gaining justice for all people as the means to peace; rather than the accepted means of military conquest as the only means to peace.

Sound familiar?  It's really bemusing to have six Biblical scholars all agreeing with me that the Church is now the Temple of Jesus' time.  That the Christian Establishment really has gotten it wrong.  That "Jesus Meek and Mild" is a total cop out of the man that terrified the centers of imperial power.  That war in the name of Christian faith is really bad, horrible theology.  That a lot of the Constantine decisions (including the majority of decisions about sexuality, making submission to authority a priority, and a slew of other stuff I've always struggled with) were done in order to control people and to give the Church a power it could not have had without merging with the Empire.  And then they come up with dozens and dozens of Biblical quotes, historical background, and deep study of the culture that the teachings come from and suddenly I'm like... this is a completely new way to look at Christianity for me.

And, most of all, I don't have to let what's been established define what Christianity means to me.  That's the most radical concept of all, for me.  I'm starting to get why Biblical study with a group, with authoritative studies and backgrounds is so important.  I lends my faith weight and a conviction, and, possibly momentum in a way I could not have gotten on my own. 

The Disciples quote may become my mantra soon.  It implies that we understand that we're all utterly different and that God made us that way.  That my strengths, my peculiarities are my reason for existing, and that the more I use and exercise and those peculiarities the closer to I get to what God meant me to be.   That my compassion will stem from being outcast, that because I used to think I'd burst into flame on crossing a Church's threshold  I might actually better serve in a church that is willing to embrace anyone like me that wants to be a part of them.  That the Samaritan woman with seven husbands who is the first to announced Jesus' divinity really was chosen for various reasons.

Okay... and it doesn't hurt to be in a congregation where, when Pope Benedict's quote about how submission to Church Authority was the root of Christian belief was read to them by our paster, we all started laughing: not just titters, not just chuckles, but outright laughing.  I'm so glad I have my own peculiar, set-aside People.

Comments

[ross-teneyck.livejournal.com]

Here's an insight I got from my Hebrew Scriptures class that has helped me a lot:

The Old Testament is -- among many other things -- a long dialog between the voice of the "priest" and the voice of the "prophet." These are diametrically opposed voices, but both are necessary for the proper functioning of God's people.

The priest stands for order and stability, for the establishment, and for building up a society in which people can worship God while living their lives.

The prophet, on the other hand, is the voice of challenge -- the prophet always comes to confront the establishment, to point out its flaws, and to tear it down.

That's why you need both -- they're compensating forces in society. Too many priests, and things get too rigid; you'll start to lose sight of God behind the rules and rituals. Too many prophets, and there's nothing but anarchy -- no structure within which to build anything, and you'll lose sight of God behind the struggle of just figuring out what's going on.

In Jesus' time, the pendulum had definitely swung too far in the priestly direction, so Jesus came in a prophetic role. And you're quite right, Jesus' ministry from beginning to end was a powerful challenge to the ruling authorities of his time.

Here's a tidbit from one of the books we read: you know how Jesus said that if someone forces you to walk a mile, you should walk two? According to this book, under Roman law a Roman soldier could compel a handy civilian to carry the soldier's load for a mile -- but no farther, so as to prevent abuse. By carrying the soldier's load two miles, you were causing the soldier to break the law, which made him vulnerable to being disciplined -- and the Roman army didn't kid around about discipline. It's not so much a "humble" act as it is a pretty potent form of non-violent protest.

In any event, you being who you are it's no surprise that you're attracted to the prophetic voice :) If I were to presume to offer suggestions, I would suggest that you go with that, because it's obviously what draws you and Lord knows we need some prophets these days... but by the same token, don't forget that the people of God need the priestly voice too. You're one pole of a necessary duality; by all means pull with all your might in your direction, but expect (and rejoice!) that others will pull the other way.

[liralen.livejournal.com]

OOo... that is *wonderful*. Thank you, so much.

Mmmm... balance is useful.

Yeah. I think that up to this point, I've had far too many people play the priest... the structure and establishment that gets to a point that they obscure God for me. So I *am* out of balance and pulling very, very hard towards the radical side of things.

I think a lot of it is that I've just heard so *little* of the prophetic side that I need to speak up about it, as you say.

Neat to know the details about the second mile!! I'd heard a similar story about "the other cheek" as well. Yeah... but putting it all together with an establishment/authority/organization also called "a church" that encourages the kind of courage it takes to protest what's wrong is what has struck me. And it's dawning on me that more churches are actually like that then I'd originally even thought.

[ross-teneyck.livejournal.com]

I think the "second mile" bit came from this book:

The Nonviolent Atonement, J. Denny Weaver

which I suspect you might like. If memory serves, one of his arguments is that the church went off the path that Jesus had sketched out when Constantine appropriated it as an instrument of the state.

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Wow. That would be very interesting to me!

Thanks!!

[liralen.livejournal.com]

And, yes, your warning is well taken. Thank you for that as well. :-) I appreciate it.

[tagryn]

Well said. And Christianity is hardly unique in this: in Shia Islam you have the duality of the Mahdi riding out of the desert to reform and cleanse the world, as well as the imams and ayatollahs teaching in the mosques, etc.

I tend towards the opposite pole from Liralen on this, and we have gone back and forth on this subject in the past. As a friend I'm happy for her victories, while accepting that the answers that work for her wouldn't necessarily work for me.

[liralen.livejournal.com]

Cool! That makes sense about Islam, too.

That's been really clear from our exchanges, too, I think. Thank you.

I think, now, though, I have more basis to be able to go... oh, right... even if I don't agree or have the same beliefs that you do, that it's okay. That I may still belong to the Body of Christ. And, before, I think I was working from a far more defensive/terrified position of thinking I had no place, really.

It's now much easier for me to realize that your beliefs are just as important and valid for you as mine are for me, and it's not necessarily a zero sum game on meaning. There's just so much in the Bible for everyone that's still looking to do God's work.

[calmingeffects.livejournal.com]

And, most of all, I don't have to let what's been established define what Christianity means to me.


Good that is very good it is so hard too i know I struggle with that myself I can't talk about religion really it is hard for me because it has been such a struggle and I don't call myself christian at all anymore and sometimes when I see your posts and that they are heading down that road i want to turn away but I know you and I know that we are similar and that you are not preaching you are sharing and i love that you share. It helps me to see others having problems and it helps me to watch someone elses journay and I think you are very brave and lucky

*huggles*

[liralen.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

Yeah, it's why I try to keep all the Bible study and Christianity posts all about *me* not about what anyone else believes or "should" believe or... whatever.

It's just about my experiences as I learn more about all this stuff. I'm glad that the sharing works for you!! No preaching from me anymore. Years and years ago used to be a deacon and I'd have a five minute sharing once a month or so... and I started posting those when I was doing it, but I haven't done that for quite a while. But those were all about me then, too...

[calmingeffects.livejournal.com]

he he he oh sure its ALLL ABOUT YOU!! *giggles and hugs so she knows she is joking with her*

no there is a realness to you and your posts and I meant no offense when I said what I did in my last comment I love that you share and that I get to read these. thank you again

[liralen.livejournal.com]

No offense taken, whatsoever. I'm leery of this side of me, too. It's just weird, scary shit sometimes...

[shadowgirl1605.livejournal.com]

I can't say much about this, since I'm not very religious at all. But I do admire how you write these things and make them so easy to understand ... without going into what exactly someone should believe - it's about what you believe, and I honestly, truly admire that <3

I have no idea what I did to earn such a shout-out, but ... awww ♥

[liralen.livejournal.com]

The icon!

Well, and listening as well as you usually do, and letting me just hang out in IM with you.

Oh, good, I'm glad that how I talk about it is not pushy. Whew.

And, honestly, I don't think of myself as religious at all. Which is funny, all in all. *giggles*