It's Good...
May. 27th, 2009 03:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
liralen... to borrow other people's kids for a while, because then, when we give them back, it's just Jet and I life feels so calm...
I gave away a dozen tomato plants this morning and I am relieved. Plants are a little like puppies for me... I really feel responsible for their growth and well-being oddly enough.
Jet and I spent four hours on the floor yesterday, playing Mechaton -- Giant Fighty Robots with Lego and more dice than we could count. It amuses me that even with a double handful of eighteen dice I got two hits and when Jet had just four dice he STILL got two hits on me. Kid karma. But now I know that he is entirely capable and willing use what some people might call complex mechanics to play a game. Thank you,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amberley!!! We had a blast...
Somehow or another I pulled my right knee sometime in the last few days. It just aches like crazy, especially when I stretch it the wrong way.
I feel old when it takes more than a week to recover from a sprain. It's interesting to think back and realize that I never really thought I'd get to this age. That I should have died in some car accident, with the way I drive, sometime in my 30's or something. Or maybe Mark should have come and shot me, like I halfway deserved, or something...
And yet here I am. Back on, well, if not square 1, at least square ten or twenty, instead of getting into the 100's on Chutes and Ladders, with writing and painting... hitting that wall I know that it always waiting for me around here, where I'm getting good enough to understand that I'm better than I was, but also good enough to suddenly see those other 120 squares and go... oh shit... I SO SUCK.
But I've done this before, too. I know that my ego gets huge and then someone tries to whack me down to size again, and I deflate far too much, and so I'm at the point where I'm sitting small and crunchy and curled up and people showed up at Word Wars, and... well... that was very good indeed. It didn't matter how "good" we were in comparison, not really... it just mattered that we were all doing what we needed to do to get better...
*shuffles along another square*
I gave away a dozen tomato plants this morning and I am relieved. Plants are a little like puppies for me... I really feel responsible for their growth and well-being oddly enough.
Jet and I spent four hours on the floor yesterday, playing Mechaton -- Giant Fighty Robots with Lego and more dice than we could count. It amuses me that even with a double handful of eighteen dice I got two hits and when Jet had just four dice he STILL got two hits on me. Kid karma. But now I know that he is entirely capable and willing use what some people might call complex mechanics to play a game. Thank you,
amberley!!! We had a blast...Somehow or another I pulled my right knee sometime in the last few days. It just aches like crazy, especially when I stretch it the wrong way.
I feel old when it takes more than a week to recover from a sprain. It's interesting to think back and realize that I never really thought I'd get to this age. That I should have died in some car accident, with the way I drive, sometime in my 30's or something. Or maybe Mark should have come and shot me, like I halfway deserved, or something...
And yet here I am. Back on, well, if not square 1, at least square ten or twenty, instead of getting into the 100's on Chutes and Ladders, with writing and painting... hitting that wall I know that it always waiting for me around here, where I'm getting good enough to understand that I'm better than I was, but also good enough to suddenly see those other 120 squares and go... oh shit... I SO SUCK.
But I've done this before, too. I know that my ego gets huge and then someone tries to whack me down to size again, and I deflate far too much, and so I'm at the point where I'm sitting small and crunchy and curled up and people showed up at Word Wars, and... well... that was very good indeed. It didn't matter how "good" we were in comparison, not really... it just mattered that we were all doing what we needed to do to get better...
*shuffles along another square*
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-28 03:57 pm (UTC)Honestly... I think it's actually me. Just me that's really upsetting myself... due to some input from someone that isn't... I dunno. I mean, really, what they did was just a trigger for a lot of stuff that I've been hanging onto in my head. Along with a lot of self-denigration.... ingrained "how in the world can you ever think you're "good enough"?"
I think that, in some sense, I'm looking up the long, steep slope of what it's going to take to go original and realizing that it's not going to be nearly as fun as fanfiction in some sense, as it's just going to take a while to get where I want to be with it.