Daily Adventures

It's only been a week.

It feels a little like forever, but it's only been a week.

John came home today, and in the hot tub, he was nearly as incredulous as I was, about it only having been seven days.  With all the things that we did, all the stuff we've seen, all the decisions that were made, and all the life that was packed into the last week, it feels like a great deal more. 

And the odd thing is that life just goes on, after death, that it doesn't stop the world the way one might feel it ought to stop the world.  The world just keeps going.  The snow falls, the wind blows, the sun rises and sets.  Meals come and go, exercise has to be taken, and there's a skunk that's now made a home under our house. Tomorrow morning, the pest control people are coming to see what they can do about it.  And I have to order my bees and clean out the boxes, soon, and plant all the frost resistant vegetables in the next week or two.

And it all feels so surreal.


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Today was Super Errand Day. We did the following:

• Stopped at the bank.
• Dropped off books at the library.
• Got propane and seeds at the locally owned hardware store.
• Stopped at Luna's for an extra long wait for coffee.
• Arrived at the diesel testing station 15 minutes late, but the guy running it was running 17 minutes late on everyone (it is good to be lucky).
• Went to Pho Duy for big bowls of good, hot pho.
• Went to the Pacific Ocean Market for Jet's hairy sprinkles (no MSG!) and a few other things.
• Went to Duart's garden center, a locally owned garden shop for potting soil and a few other things.
• Went to King Soopers for our weekly stocking up.

What's more interesting yet is that ( yesterday was even more busy. )

I think that, honestly, when I have to just process on a problem, not think, not analyse, not find specific words, but just process, I just let the back-brain grind away without concious words or streams to back it up. The only way I can occupy the conscious mind enough, distract it enough to let that back stuff burble is by doing something that occupies it without engaging it deeply.

Letting the emotional, endocrinal, decision making, doing not thinking part of me work without "you shoulds" and other such phrases getting in the way is hard. I can do it while doing tai chi. I often think that old roseries used to be for precisely that purposes. I think my modern equivalent is the solitaire game on the machine. I can play Spider set to Easy or Medium for quite a while as I process and keep out my stupid second guesses quite nicely. And, usually, when I'm done, I pop into an appropriate application and do what has to be done now that it's all structured so nicely in the back of my head. Sometimes it's just to get enough courage to just do and not try.