A Week of Profound Changes
Aug. 14th, 2024 08:22 pmThe Grief is Real
Feb. 15th, 2021 12:48 amLately, I've been feeling like I've been run over by a truck, but got away with it.
Bruised, battered, aching all over, but I'm alive, and I'm whole and I can keep going. It's not physically difficult for me to live and do the things that life needs of me, but so difficult mentally and emotionally.
A Few of My Favorite Things
Dec. 4th, 2020 11:06 pmToday I'm thankful for something that didn't happen. And since it's not mine to tell, I'll just leave it there. The intensity of the gratitude is as big as it's vagueness. *laughs*
Instead, I will talk a bit about my three favorite adventures in Puerto Rico, two of them happened at the very end, the other was basically when everything at the camp started to flood due to the deluge of rains that were coming down. *laughs*
I have heard!!!
Dec. 1st, 2020 10:37 pmAnd it was a real joy to work with all the folks. They're all good people and we got to have fun playing cards, finding good food, and working like crazy when we got to.
Sandstone Reach
Nov. 30th, 2020 12:05 amOur walk was along the Sandstone Reach, which follows the St Vrain Creek as it meets up eventually with Boulder Creek and other Front Range waterways. It is open land, with plenty of wetlands and the birds and wildlife that goes with it.
There was one bald eagle right on the waterway who flapped painfully up until it caught a current and then it circled higher and higher until we couldn't see it when it presented sideways to us and could only catch the black flash of its wings when it was headed away from us. It was amazing to watch it just ride the wind up without a single flap after the initial flurry.
It's about a two mile walk from the parking lot we've found to Sandstone Ranch proper, and another two back, all as flat as creek side paths can be, and Longmont City has paved it all with cement so it's smooth, easy walking and we can make distance at a good pace for aerobic work. There were a lot of people on the path, today, and nearly everyone wore masks when we passed each other. I'm not sure how much that's needed in open air with a path that's a bit more than six feet wide; but it was oddly reassuring to have everyone conscious of each other.
The view going back to the car from the ranch was spectacular on a constant basis. We'd stop here and there to take pictures. The sun is far enough south to not interfere with any of the photos of Long's Peak and all the ones around it.
I particularly love this one with the long shadow of the trees from the low southern winter light. I may have to make a very large watercolor painting from it using the techniques a Boulder painter taught me in one of his classes where I was the only one who showed up.
The afternoon and evening were pretty quiet after that, and dinner was simple, just leftovers: turkey, potatoes from the GB Fish and Chips we'd gone to on the way to delivering Jet back to Mines, gravy from the turkey, and roasted asparagus. And after dinner I did my usual gaming, playing a bit of TF2 with FiTH on their server, doing a bit of Immortal Redneck before playing some Risk of Rain 2. Syncheart joined me about then, and we played a chapter of Lego Batman 3 for the lols, but decided that it was much more fun doing Risk of Rain 2 together.
He helped me get the achievement of opening the timed chest on Rally Point Delta. The chest locks itself after 10 minutes, so it was fairly quick to fail and try again when we went to the wrong level. The second time we got lucky and hit the right level and Sync helped get me there with three minutes to spare! That was really great. And then we went and did the final Boss now that the game has an actual ending instead of just looping as many times as possible through all the environments.
That was very satisfying.
I also managed to put up a Happy Birthday post for John on Facebook, and was reminded by another poster of our Puerto Rico trip in January. It seems like a world ago instead of just earlier this year. I want to make a go of writing about that trip, with the perspective of being here and now rather than then. There is much I'm grateful for about that trip and I want to capture some of it, even half a year away.
Hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving! We had a wonderful time with Jet, even for just the few days we had him, and I'm super grateful for the ease of COVID testing at Mines and here for us.
And We Have Lift Off
Aug. 16th, 2019 05:46 pmThe Jet is launched into The Colorado School of Mines, and he's having a great time.
I'm so glad. And relieved, but also just so proud of how he worked through a rather tough situation.
On Monday, the day of the move-in, all the Leaning Communities were moving in at the same time, along with the various sport teams, and anyone that had a solid connection to the other communities that were all going to the Ore Digger camp up in the mountains for three days. The setup was something completely new to me, all the parents and their vans/cars/trucks/U-Haul trailers would pull up to a designated unloading zone and would have 15 minutes to unload everything in their car. Hordes of volunteers would descend on the pile and take everything up to the rooms.
Many of the drop zones were for more than one dorm. All of the boxes were supposed to be labelled with the owner's name, dorm name, room number, and phone number. Not everyone did that, and I cannot imagine what they would have done in this situation, because the labeling actually helped resolve things. Yes. It does get resolved. No suspense here.
We arrived, we started unloading things, and Jet realized he needed a room key to get into the room, so he went off to get that. John and I finished unloading all the boxes, and volunteers started grabbing things and going off with them. Occasionally asking, "Does this go to Elm?" Which everything did, and I would have the ones that I interacted with repeat the room number to me, which they all did. When it was all out of the van, John drove it off to park it and I sat with the remaining items, deciding that I'd hold Jet's monitor as it was pretty fragile and huge. By the time Jet got back, everything but his rock had gone off to his room.
Yes. There's a Rock. All freshmen have to bring a ten pound rock for the iconic Mines M on Mt. Zion. They hike with it up to the M, place it, whitewash it while getting "helped" by the upperclassmen, and when they're seniors, they can come up and take one with them when they go out in the world. It's an interesting tradition, still rooted in the mountains and geological roots of the school.
So he carried his rock up to his room, we got all his stuff into the room with all the stuff from his two other roommates, whom had all arrive at the same time. Yes, it's a triple. I'm impressed, honestly. They got a nice, big corner room that's designed to be a triple, but it's still just one room for three people to live in. The two other families were there variously, and it was nice to meet both roommates and their families.
One very Jet-thing then happened, as John started to suggest things that could be taken care of as part of the move-in, Jet said, "Let's just go walk around and see some things. I can take care of all that later."

It's a beautiful, newer campus, they've updated a lot of the oldest buildings, and there is an amazing student recreation center with all the workout stuff and an amazing outdoors coordination booth that has equipment for skiing, rock climbing, hiking with crampons on ice, and even camping as well as a scheduler for going on group activities with other students.
And when we'd wandered until there really wasn't anything more to see, we hugged him and let him go. I was suitably sad and happy and that whole mix of emotions that just happens with these big life events. So happy that he's able to tackle it all, and sad that he's out of my every day life.

Most of the park and garden is working farm for local farm to table restaurants. There are also a lot of venue spaces, a camp site in the back of the lake, and areas that have things like this botanical sculpture. It was all tree branches all tangled together. Intriguing, but definitely not all lavender. There was even a tiny butterfly tent that had a lot of moths, butterflies, and the stuff to feed and care for them. It was closed when we got there, but we wandered about in the sunshine and talked about how it was to leave Jet.
After getting back into the car, John got a call that he wisely didn't answer while driving, but he handed his phone to me to take a look. It was Jet, saying that he couldn't find his computer and was it still in the Eurovan? It wasn't.
He contacted his RAs immediately. His roommates were good support. They had an all-floor meeting that evening, and he asked about it there. It hadn't shown up in Elm. They all were leaving for camp on Tuesday morning and wouldn't be back until Thursday, when the rest of the students were moving in. And none of us really knew what could be done after the chaos of boxes, people, and all kinds of things that could happen. It was hard and both Jet and I were really sad about the loss while John was very determinedly optimistic about it showing up. So I did my best and minted the phrase, "He just hasn't found it yet." And tried to use that phrase whenever my brain came up with all kinds of awful things.
That night, Jet texted us to tell us he was going to sleep and that he loved us. We txted back and said we loved him and wished him a good night. That felt really good all around, I think.
I couldn't sleep that night (and later, Jet said that he had a really hard time sleeping that first night, too, because of the missing box) and at 5 am, I posted on the in-coming students' parents list about the situation, moderating my language consciously to make it non-accusatory. And they came up with a ton of experience about how the chaos of the move-in does lose a lot of stuff and all kinds of stories about how it gets found again. The most common thing that happens is that a volunteer just takes it to the wrong dorm (since MOST of the drop off areas went to more than one dorm) and sticks it into the room of someone who won't be there until Thursday.
So I waited.
And Jet found some connectivity in the mountains and texted to tell us he was having a great time, and I realized that that really was what was important. The computer could be replaced, things lost were just things lost, but the fact that he was creating relationships already was a very very good sign for how things would work for him at this school.
And when Thursday morning came and went and we got all the things Jet had discovered he might still like together and then left the house for the Convocation and we still hadn't heard word of him finding it, I was pretty down. So I put my "it's okay" face on and went with John to meet up with him. John dropped me and the new things off with Jet in the parking lot. Jet met me there and we hugged solidly and were quietly sad together for a bit, but kept going and walked up to his room to put away the things. When I told him that a lot of the parents had said the he should check out the Lost and Founds of the other dorms, he thought it was a great idea and hadn't known there was a Lost and Found. Lots and lots of people said, "Hi, Jet!" on the way in, which made me very happy. He seemed like it wasn't anything big, which I'm good with. *laughs*
He had to run off to a field with all the rest of the in-coming students, about 1300 freshman and 200 transfer students, as they were all going to have a class picture together. I joined John at the recreation center's basketball arena with all the other parents, and we waited for the Convocation to start.
"Convocation" is the assembling of a formal gathering, and so it was. The first time assembly of the Class of 2023 with their professors, staff, and parents as support. It was the opposite end of the university life than a graduation, but it had much of the same sort of organization. Lots of people in the School of Mines talking about what being there meant. I was pretty impressed that a lot of the talk was about how to fail well and learn from it.
The most impressive example of that was the professor who helped Adam Savage build a flying Iron Man suit from 3D-printed titanium. Especially since my favorite quote from Mythbusters is "Failure is Always An Option." So all the values on display, all the priorities were the ones I loved. A tough, technical school, with a lot to teach, but also the compassion to try and ease freshmen fears, and give the room to fail for a while before finding their feet, which I never really felt was the case at Caltech. The Caltech pre-frosh talk was "Look to your right, look to your left, one of you won't be at graduation." It really was a "if you can't take the heat, get out of this kitchen" kind of place. Here the emphasis was on that all the students had the support of the staff, the professors, and each other to lean on when things got tough. I'll admit I cried a little.
Afterwards was an okay BBQ with Buster the donkey hanging out for pictures with people, and after we ate, Jet decided it was the perfect time to try the other dorms' Lost and Founds. So, after asking if it was okay with him, we went with him.
The lady at the Maple front desk listened to him patiently and then said, "Oh, are you missing a printer?" And Jet started to explain that, no, it was a computer...
And John jumped in with, "It was a printer box. We packed your computer in an old printer box."
"Oh! Well, it was labelled Elm, so we sent it over to Elm. Check in their Lost and Found."
We thanked her profusely and I danced about on the way over and John said quellingly, "I'm not going to celebrate until we have our hands on it."
And Jet came over and hugged me and said, "Well, I'm going to celebrate with Mom." Which was all I needed to start crying. 😁 Luckily, Jet understood entirely.
We got back to Elm, and Jet asked at the front desk. At first the lady was confused and started looking in their Lost and Found drawer; but with more explanation, she went back into the back room and came out with Jet's box. That was probably the best I've felt in a while. Especially when both Jet and I looked and saw that the box was, indeed, labelled with his name, room number, dorm, and phone number. He and I high 5'd when he said, "We did label it."
When Jet had the box hugged to his body and we were going up the hallway toward his room, he said, "What I don't understand is why they didn't even try to call me."
I don't know either, and it turned out that a mother had commented on my Facebook post about a printer that had been delivered to her daughter's room that didn't belong to them. She was upset she hadn't actually read the label on it, and could have found it for us earlier, and I felt better that she was upset and thanked her profusely. Which is such an interesting interaction to have. The connectivity of the Internet makes for some interesting situations.
Jet's roommate's parents were leaving as we were heading to his room, and they were so happy he'd found his computer, it was pretty heartwarming. They were back home to the East Coast, and so we wished them safe travels. Jet kept telling nearly everyone we met that he's found his box, so I got a much better idea of how much he'd gone out of his way to ask for help. I was very impressed.
And when we got back to his room he set the box in the middle of the room and just stared at it for a while. It was done. He now had everything he had hoped to have when this all started, and afterward, we were so tired and relieved, that we really couldn't think of much else to do. So he just walked us to our car, we all hugged thoroughly and said our good-byes. He ended with, "I'll see you later!"
And I replied, "Definitely." Which made him smile.
John and I went to Glacier Ice Cream in Boulder to celebrate after that. We have, indeed, launched him into his new, challenging world. And it's good. He's independent, self-motivated, and knows why he's there. It's a bit like Mission Control with the astronauts, we really can't DO anything, but we can talk him through things and remind him of his training, but he's the one that's got to do what he's got to do.
Road Trippin'
Aug. 4th, 2019 04:43 pmThe two trips were one to take Jet north to Canada to see some of the sights that John and I saw up there when Jet was in Europe, and the other is going to be to Seattle to stay with John's mom and explore a bit with her and revisit a lot o the amazing Asian restaurants we loved when we were there over Christmas. Jet insisted that we try new things, go to places that we didn't go on our trip so that we'd have a fresh perspective, too, and it worked out really well with John's ability to plan and research things.
I'm going to give you the full photo album right up front, so you can see all the views (many have some information on the side and I think you can see the info by clicking on the picture and clicking on the circle with an "i" in the middle. I'll just pull out a few as I talk about why and what we got out of the places we visited.
The Perils of Cliffhangers
May. 1st, 2019 05:48 pmWhen I left it at that cliffhanger, I didn’t think that would come back to bite me and give me two other medical things to “deal with” in the interim.
So. I’d best write before anything ELSE happens on top of all the house stuff.
Best of good news with the house things: we closed on the old house! The new owners met with us for the signing with their adorable baby boy and it was a blast. The new house is going well, and John’s checking every day, there’s a photo album of the daily progress here.
A Wild Ride
Mar. 24th, 2019 10:46 pmWe've been working all along to get everything ready for showing the house. There were three stages: the first when Colleen showed up and gave us a quick run through of everything she thought we should do, things that we could kind of take or leave. They were as big as getting everything that was natural wood painted either white or gray and moving my entire library out of my office to things as small as the orientation of my second monitor.
Starting Again
Mar. 2nd, 2019 10:24 pmHeading Into the Holidays
Dec. 15th, 2018 10:49 amOne of those things that I've realized, as an introvert, is that I still need community. No matter how tired or frustrated people sometimes make me, I still need the contact, still need to toss ideas around with people, and still delight in meeting new people and getting to know them.
Sunshine in the Emerald City
Sep. 26th, 2018 11:57 amIt's been cool here, but sunny. Ordinarily, it is sunny here through September and into October, the long Indian summer is almost always a part of Seattle weather, but it's fun to talk about, especially since all the weather reports had been predicting rain for most of the days we were to be here. 60's as a high and clouds all the way down the ten day forecast. But it's been remarkably clear and sunny here while we've been here, and I've been enjoying it a great deal.
I really enjoyed sitting on Isabel's back porch. I read, I sketched the geraniums, and I waited for these guys to come to the hummingbird feeder. There were hummingbirds who had staked out the feeder and it was always something of a thrill to hear the thrumming of their wings.
Our time with Isabel is something I think I'll just hold private. It was good and helped me heal from some things I'd been holding. She's an amazing person, and I do love her a lot.
We also did some of our usual things, going to the Pike Place Market, hitting Uwajamaya and the bookstore there. We found all kinds of small treasures, including a pen case for me, a Porco Rosso puzzle, origami paper that had old fashioned Japanese paper on one side and a different color backing it.
There was also this. A Taiyaki. *laughs* I've been looking for them ever since I saw them in My Hero Academia. All Might's mentor had them in his freezer and he nuked them to warm them up before he ate them, and I have been looking for them ever since.
Best of all Isabel has a two-slot toaster, so I was able to drop them into the single slot and toast them until they were crisp on the outside, and the adzuki bean filling was warm in the middle. They were amazing, and Uwajamaya's supplier (or they might make them on site? I don't know) was really good about getting the filling to conform to the outline, so that these fish were beautifully filled from edge to edge. The interesting thing was that the paste was lighter in color than the canned red bean paste I get from the store, so they might make that as well.
Another find was an ice cream place in Redmond called Molly Moon's Handmade Ice Cream, which had many of the usual flavors, but surprised me by having a Lavender Honey ice cream and a huckleberry topping. The ice cream itself was redolent with lavender and the honey only added to the floral bouquet so that it felt like I was eating the essence of flowers. The huckleberry topping was fruity and almost citrusy with acidity. I loved it.
Redmond has also gotten two interesting Northern Chinese restaurants. One of which we were able to visit. Tian Tian noodles had the very intriguing dish of "Stir fried shredded pancake" in their noodle menu, which really reminded me of a dish my mother used to make that took day old scallion pancakes and fried them with various leftovers that turned out a bit like soft chow mein, but so much tastier. But the other place, the Dough Zone, had the Shanghai style soupy bao (xiao long bao), so we had to go there. *laughs* And it was well worth it.
As you can see, we kind of dove in before I even got to snap a picture or three. The sweet and sour cucumbers were crisp and exactly as advertised. They were Japanese style cucumbers cut in a spiral and harder to pull apart then they looked like they might be. The shredded ginger in the dish to the right was what really sold me on the place. They got that right. It's what the xiao long bao shops in Shanghai gave you, and you were supposed to pour black vinegar in them to season the vinegar before you dipped the bao into them (or drizzled the vinegar into the soup spoon with the dumpling). That's a touch not a lot of places get right.
The xiao long bao, themselves, were amazing. The skin had that perfect give, and none of the bao had holes in them so they were all filled with soup and the meat of the dumpling. They were savory, so hot we could barely taste them to start, and then mellowed to a tender perfect example of what these are supposed to be. The picture on the left is that of their "spicy beef roll", something we'd only ever gotten at the Taiwanese barracks food restaurant in San Diego... and it's slow-cooked spicy thinly sliced beef in a roll of scallion pancake. And they'd done their scallion pancakes super crispy on the edges and the beef was good and spicy and beautifully tender.
I highly recommend them. A review said that they had no ambiance, but that also meant that I could talk to John across the table without having to shout the way we'd had to at the more famous dumpling outlet in Bellevue. It was a very successful visit.
Fall was in the air, and these maple leaves were the size of dinner plates. We had one morning when it just rained for an hour or two before the sun came back out, and one night I could hear the rain and I went to sleep more peacefully than I have for quite some time. I still miss the rain. And it was so good to just walk in the trees. We visited Marymoore and the dog park and were very happy about the one dollar parking fee that maintained the trails, and did a lot of improvements there that were good to see.
It was a good time, and we had to go on Friday to get home before Tuesday, as I had things scheduled.
Moms' Weekend Out
Sep. 17th, 2018 10:00 pmBoth Tonya and Lisa had sons who had just gone off to college, and their homes were also a little more empty the way I had. So we were all talking some about the changes in our lives, which helped me a lot.
Sometimes...
Aug. 31st, 2018 10:52 pmHe's happy, he's safe, he's with a family he finds fantastic in a situation and culture he's learning about at a massive rate, and it was like he was just in the room with us, showing us around his new house and showing us the compact city just outside his window in a video call with us. And then he's gone again when the call is done, but we know he's doing well and learning hand over fist and loving the situation he's landed in and it's all good.
And, just like when he's away at school, at work, or even when he went off to Europe, Chicago, or other places on his down, I get back to doing all the things that I want to do with my life. There will be more of that. He will be back in four months, but then he'll be off to college and the rest of his life, so I get on with mine.